DOG-EARED with Lisa Davis EP #7: BOOK: "I Chose You: Imperfectly Perfect Rescue Dogs and Their Humans." AUTHOR: Carmen Leal

Lisa is joined by Carmen Leal the author of I Chose You: Imperfectly Perfect Rescue Dogs and Their Humans.  

Lisa starts the interview by sharing something her dogs do and asks if your dog or dogs do it too.  She also asks Carmen the same first question she always asks which is, "When did you love of dogs begin?"

Carmen came to dogs in a unique way.  After a horrible accident, her doctor recommended an emotional support dog which she said no to multiple times. Eventually she changed her mind and not only did she get a dog, she did work for a shelter and has helped thousands of dogs find homes.

Carmen's book is an anthology so not only does she share her own stories,  there are others as well who share stories about their dogs.

For more details, see the transcript. 

Book description:  I Chose You: Imperfectly Perfect Rescue Dogs and Their Humans. 

For every pet parent who knows there's no such thing as 'just a dog,' this collection of uplifting glimpses into the lives of ordinary-turned-extraordinary dogs and the people who love them is a tail-wagging good read.

Thanks to the rescue dog who saved her life after a traumatic brain injury, Carmen Leal went from saying she'd never have a dog to becoming an advocate for man's best friend. Carmen volunteered at the local rescue shelter by writing bios and social media posts, applying for grants, and helping to save and re-home over 6,500 dogs from a high-kill shelter. This endearing anthology includes stories that celebrate the bond between canines and humans including:

• Buddy the beagle who went from living chained under a porch to becoming the town's only therapy dog
• Heavenly Joy, the frightened Chihuahua who changed the life of a grumpy old man
• Bogey, an abandoned mixed-breed trained by prison inmates and adopted by his forever family

I Chose You is a collection of memorable, beautifully written stories of dogs rescued by people and, ultimately, people rescued by dogs. If you like four-legged friends and happy endings, you'll love Carmen Leal's touching collection of heart-warming stories.

Fetch a copy of I Chose You, the feel-good book that resonates with anyone who has ever loved a dog.

Transcript

1:01:56

Owner: Lisa Davis

SUMMARY KEYWORDS 
dog , stories , people , book , dog lover , carmen , coconut , rescue , husband , hawaii , thought , life , love , pay , wisconsin , brutus , movies , listeners , live , read 


Lisa 
0:00
starting on January 11, Health power we'll be posting every Tuesday instead of every Tuesday and Thursday, on Thursdays starting on the 12th. You're gonna get dog eared with Lisa Davis. They write books about dogs, I interview them. So if you're a dog lover, I hope you will check it out. Tell your friends, tell your family also tell them about health power. So again, health power every Tuesday dog here with Lisa Davis every Thursday, hope you'll tune in.

Lisa 
0:46
Today, we're talking about a wonderful book. I'm so excited. It is called I choose you imperfectly perfect rescue dogs and their humans. It is by our guest Carmen Leal, and it's such a wonderful book. I love anthologies, we get to read a lot of different stories. So Carmen is a storyteller and author of multiple books, dozens of articles devotionals and human interest stories. Carmen relocated to Hawaii. Excuse me from Hawaii to Oshkosh. Yes, there is a story behind the move. I love that and has become an awesome dog mom, Carmen, her husband had become reluctant gardeners and know a crazy amount about Wisconsin weeds. She is a mother of two sons, two incredible grandsons and coconut the best imperfectly perfect rescue dog in the world. Hello,

Carmen
1:32
hello. Oh, I am so glad that you invited me to come this is a big deal for me. So thank you.

Lisa 
1:39
Oh, well, I'm so glad to have you on. I like I said, I love anthologies. It's so much fun to get to know you and your dog coconut and your family and then to read other people's experience with dogs. So the first question I ask every guest is when did your love of dogs begin?

Carmen 
1:53
When I got my dog, and if you've read the book, which you've had, you'll know the very beginning of it. I say I will never get a dog. And in the book, there are two stories. There's a mutt named George and King Brutus. And those were the two dogs that made me say I will never get a dog again. And now I know they weren't bad dogs. They were the wrong dogs at the wrong time for the wrong person. And I really want to stress that yes, but I would never have gotten a dog except we were back home in Hawaii. Living the perfect life. I was a concierge life was fantastic. We ran a stop sign or stoplight on the way home from a beautiful beach. And someone slammed into us. It was a giant SUV we were in a little tiny Subaru hit another SUV hit tumor cars news at 10 totaled car. I didn't know it at the time, but I had a horrible concussion and a traumatic brain injury. And for any of your listeners who have ever worked with people, people can be great. People typically not great. Yeah, my background is in sales, customer service marketing conflict resolution. I'm really good with people with helping them when expectations and reality don't meet. Okay, so when you're on vacation in Hawaii, you have certain expectations. Oh yeah, it rains, when there's a car wreck when you oversleep, when, when when my job is to calm you down. But when you have a level 10 Headache, trust me, it ain't happening. So after a couple years of just total suicidal thoughts, I saw no way out. I thought I was either going to get fired because of my mouth. I was going to be in jail for physical abuse, or I was going to kill myself. Those are the only options I saw. And my doctor in Hawaii kept saying get a dog. Your change. I said, I know. No. I only want to plan I want nothing to take care of. And we moved to Oshkosh, Wisconsin, because my son is here. I did pretty much no research except the House did not know what I was getting into for all your listeners do not move from Hawaii, or Puerto Rico or California or anyplace was son to Wisconsin in March. Not a good was not a good idea. So that depression, those suicidal thoughts continued until finally in October of 2017. I said fine, I'll give the dog or go or get a dog. I'm gonna name it sanics angle work, I can get rid of it give to my husband, because you know, all those drugs didn't work like Xanax got rid of those. And I was fully prepared to do that. And we went to a shelter a little rescue. And that's when my love of dogs began. So I'm a very new dog lover, actually say to people, I'm a coconut lover. I'm still I still have an awareness myths about dogs. I have a little bit of a fear. I have to prepare myself. But I'm getting better. And what I what I love is what dogs can do for people like me.

Lisa 
5:12
Oh, absolutely. You know, you mentioned Xanax, but I thought one of the funniest sentences in the whole book was in October of 2017. Coconut came to live in our home as my emotional support dog. You know, by now, I was not a dog person and kind of looked at a dog well, like Xanax. And then there was another part we talked about. I don't want a dog that jumps I don't wanna die that leg. I don't want to, like all the things that dogs do. It's like, Oh, my God.

Carmen
5:36
Well, we went to the rescue the other we went to the rescue, because it was the only one open. I do. I knew. I didn't know there was a cost. I thought you just go when they say, hey, here, take it off my hands. So we go in and my husband's a dog lover, and they had a little computer screen and you could look at the dogs read the bios. And he chose several dogs that he thought would be good dogs. They all walked in and went to him. All of them, they just ignored me. And I said, Well, if it's my emotional support, dogs shouldn't come to me. And the owner said, Well, tell me what you want and a dog. Right? I said, I want a dog that doesn't let them bark, doesn't get on sofas does get my bed, and it's just plain not annoying. That's what I want. And he said, Well, you don't want a dog, do you? I said, Nope. And he goes, I got the perfect dog. And he brought him this little dog. And I think he's the cutest thing around. But at the time, he was 12 pounds underweight. He only weighs 36 pounds now. So you can imagine that every rib, and he was just brown, yellow black tail. But you know, it wasn't like the Huskies, the colorful coats, the balloon, green eyes, the drama dogs, you know that everybody looks at or the certain breeds that are bizarre. This was just a month, there wasn't nothing about this dog that would have ever made me say I want this dog. And for three weeks, he had been in this rescue this rescue gutter dogs from high kill shelter in Kentucky. So he was fixed. And he'd been there about three weeks. But nobody ever said I want this dog. Let me even see him. I don't know why Jim knew that this was the dog. But he walks in and the dog walks straight to me and stood and stared at me. And then he sat and like, I leave unless you're with me. And he just stared and stared like he knew that he knew. Wow. And so we got a dog that night. So he did chose me. So the title is huge. I chose you. And I chose you can be the dog choosing me. meters, the dog. The best adoption is when you choose each other. And that's what happened. He just started the process rolling and I don't know what he saw in me. Did he know I was so broken? That I needed fixing. Was it because I didn't jump all over him? Was it because I was calm? I don't know.

Lisa 
8:08
Yeah, those are interesting questions. I think they can sense things personally,

Carmen 
8:12
you know, we all know about dogs syncing things. And I think he really, really did know, this is a broken person that I need to be with. Interesting. There's a story in the book about anybody who has men over 40 They just lowered the rate get your PSA check then when my husband is considerably over 14. And I would say go to the doctor could have a talk. He wouldn't go. He didn't go to dermatologists. He didn't go to the neurologist, all those things that you should do your benchmarks. And I kept saying that and finally I said it was in 2019. And I said, Look, we're making reservations to see your mom in Florida. If I don't see appointments for the neurologist and the dermatologist on your calendar. I'm making a one way ticket for you and a round trip for me because I can't be bothered. I don't want I already buried a husband before this. I am doing another one not something that we can prevent. And so he made the appointment Well, before we left coconut who does not love being held? He'll push against you. But he doesn't want to be held and he was my dog with Zeljko. We'd be on the couch because you know that no on the couch that ended he started moving from me to Gary. And eventually he would move right into Gary's lap, which was very uncommon. And I looked at him one day and I said I'm here are you have cancer? He goes, Why would you say that? I said because coconut cannot get his snout out of your crotch. Oh wow. You have prostate cancer and And he said, Well, that's a terrible thing to say. Not only did he have prostate cancer, he like 80%, he had to have a total prostate removal a week after lockdown in March of 2020. So bad, they wouldn't even wait. Now he's doing fine. Free. But it was that dog. It wasn't the doctor, it was the dog. So dogs are amazing what they, they smell what they know. And he knew. And interestingly, he was not allowed in the bed. Well, that ship sailed when Harry came home from the hospital, and is in the bed. Obviously, you know, going through a lot after that surgery, you could not keep that dog out of the bed away from him. And I have a wonderful picture where his paw is right on Gary's arm, where he's comforting him. The first night of recovery.

Lisa 
10:57
That is amazing. What was the adjustment like for you? Being a person that's not a dog? Getting the dog, okay? Because your doctor told you to just. Yeah.

Carmen 
11:11
People think that it's magic. And it happens overnight. And as a dog lover and doing this dog podcast, and all I've learned now you know, the rule of three. The dog is different three days, three weeks, three months. I did not know this.  I was just getting settled. I didn't have friends. And I met a lady who said hey, do you want to come to a play this theater at the Grand Theatre, which is one of these old turn of the century theatres as revitalize and turns out it was a terrible play anyway, but I didn't want to say no, I didn't want to say I have to stay home. I have a dog because it had been on the calendar for so long. And my husband was working that night. And I thought How bad can it be? I'll just leave him and there'll be poop. I have wooden floors. I just pick up the poop big deal. Well, how bad can it get? Never say how bad can it get? It will get way worse than you know. Off we go to this terrible play. I come back and there is some poop. But I didn't notice that. What I noticed were the drapes. We had negotiated for the silk 106 inch drapes of these nine inch ceiling walls. They're gone. He had destroyed them. We had curtains upstairs. I had just purchased, they're gone. The shades. He went into the pantry knocked over the shelf, ate macadamia nuts, with the dogs. And they're macadamia nuts. You don't leave those alone.
And then he couldn't stand. This is all in like three hours. So we clean up the poop. We carry him outside he can't stand. So he can't pee. And so then we take him up to his bed. The next morning, he still can't stand so we on a Sunday morning. And your listeners will know all about this ended up at the emergency vet where you just give them your whole bank account. Oh my gosh, all it was was a sprain. We think he fell down the stairs or something you don't know. And I said if there's gonna be a blockage. We went in and and I told them I said look, I do not want a fecal test. I don't want an exam, which is I don't know the start. I don't know this dog at all. I have no attachment to this dog. Just find out why he can't stand and fix it. When she came back with a laundry list of what they did, I asked for the manager and I said well, first of all, it's really nice that you have hired people who were hearing impaired. And she said what I said that's the only reason you don't lose test because she obviously didn't hear me because I said we have stuff the best way to start off the conversation. Maybe not. Eventually we settled on $500 Because I said I'll pay this which is still outrageous. Or you could just have the dog I have no relationship this dog because he is a new dog. There are a lot of dogs on this. That was more of a me adoption fee, which by the way I didn't know I had to pay because I go in and he would I get the dog and the owner says you want to settle this by a catcher or car I'm like, you're charging me, I'm taking the mutt off your hands, you should pay me honestly, I know, I didn't want to sound stupid. So I paid it. And then the next day, I paid more than that to get this dog fixed. And it was, it was basically a baby aspirin they gave me for dogs. But we got better. I didn't do any research. And I really want to tell your listeners do a little research. Just a little. Don't be like me, do as I say, now, not as I did. I didn't understand kennel cough he had been out in the wild seems for a while. So we know now he had a fight for food. Gracious the amount of he eats so fast that I thought it was gonna choke to death. And so I go back and I talk and they said, well get a calm, put food in it or get a toy that it slows it down. The rescue could not have been more wonderful in helping me. But as an owner, I could not have been more wonderful, but ask questions. And later Jim said, I can't believe you didn't try and give us his dog back. And most people do. They're just like in tourism or anything else, you have an expectation. And when reality hits, and it's so vastly different than the expectation, our knee jerk reaction is to say, I want a refund. I can't do this. Because everybody wants to plug and play dog. Right, right. And you're not gonna get a plug and play dog. I don't care if it's a puppy, or it's a senior, there is a period of time when that adjustment is not what you expected. And once we sort of got our rhythm, it was wonderful. And it was and I went back to the owner and I said, you know, you guys do a great job with dogs. But you suck at marketing. I mean, you're so awful. You know, I needed a purpose, taking care of coconut and learning about him helping to understand your your damage. But you still do things you you have to do them differently. I had to teach myself how to read for comprehension, comprehension. Again, I swore I would never read another book. I've written 10 Before this, Oh, wow. But the task of writing a book was so daunting with brain damage, the limited screen time, the not knowing anybody in town, the isolation, you couldn't get more different from Hawaii than Wisconsin. I just needed a sense of purpose. So I started writing bios. And it's funny because people would always say, Oh, you're such a dog lover, you nailed my dog. It's perfect. Is that you know, so I didn't know these dogs. Never. Wait, give me a picture. Give me a breed, mix possible breed mix, right? Because we don't we didn't breed identify that that came from Kentucky. And then my job is to never make a promise the dog can't keep. And I think that's one of the problems that rescues have and shelters is they want to sell the dog. They want to not sell it. But they say oh, he's least trained. Oh, he's great train, oh, he can, you know, juggle and tap tests the same time. But they can't do any of those things. Even if they used to be able to do those things. They can't do those things in your house. The first few days, the first few weeks, the first few months. Never make a promise of a promise that dog can't keep. But I was really good with word pictures. Were talking about how they look about breeds. And so during that time I went from volunteering and then going on staff are the most underpaid human being on the face of the earth. And I designed the website and redesigned the logo and grew their social media. And sadly, they did close in September of 2020 to COVID just destroyed shelters and other nonprofits. And so I released the book a month early so I could do one more signing and I could donate and now every book that is sold is going to different ones but I'm meeting on Saturday, who I think is going to be my my rescue partner that we can start doing things with and so I have more news later but

Lisa 
19:48
that's wonderful. Yeah,

Carmen 
19:49
so I won't be working for them. I'll just dedicate all my efforts to them. But during the during the time I was with new possibilities. I was involved with it. 500 rescues in four years in tenders, they were open, they rescued over 12,000 dogs, that dogs that got surgery on Tuesday, got into transport on Wednesday. And if they hadn't gotten out by Friday, they'd be dead. Because it is the poorest county in Appalachia in Kentucky. And they just the first year they were open, they had over 8000 companion animals and 98% were euthanized. Oh my gosh. And it was only through partners like us, that would pay for all the spay neuter, all of that work, all the transport fees, everything, bring these dogs to Wisconsin that does not have a stray dog population, where we live now maybe closer to the Native American reservations, or maybe a bit more. But where we live, you've got to really travel to get a dog if you don't. And so I just felt awful that we closed for the dogs left behind, but for the people who are not struggling to find dogs. So anyway, that's a little bit about why I do what I did. Not something like that of being this major dog lover, but I like justice. I hate inequity. I hate fairness. I just think you know, we talk about diversity equity in the people world. But it's the same thing in the dog you world. And I just couldn't stand to see. Dog dog's not given a chance. And people like me not given a chance. Because there's a lot of people like me that just need a little, a little effort to be whole again,

Lisa 
21:44
no one listening is going to be surprised that the story that grabbed me the most other than yours, of course, was "Noah's Miracle." So I'm a pit fanatic. And I you know, I say it over and over. But if you get to know a pit My God, they are such big babies. 

Carmen 
22:01
They really are. Well, that was the hardest story to tell. Not just because, you know, pits have a bad rap. And I like to tell people, the majority of dogs in a shelter are not bad dogs, they're good dogs in a bad situation. And Noah's story is, Jennifer, for your listeners, I did not put this in the book. So you get new information, because it's a podcast, Jennifer is my husband's daughter. And she'll guess. And she lives up in New Hampshire. And she had her best friend forever. And her best friend got given this pit, little pit puppy, where her husband, and she were both major drug users. And the husband got her the dog with the intent of the dog becoming a bait dog.

Lisa 
22:57
That makes me want to rip people's heads off.

Carmen 
23:00
So when obviously there was money involved in drugs and whatnot, so when Jennifer heard that she rescued Noah to be able to save Noah's life while the boyfriend absolutely lost it because he had spent money on this dog that had potential to do what he wanted. And so she had to get a restraining order, you know, blah, blah, blah. Well, the dog had a lot of behavior issues. And I would too, in that situation course. So Jennifer had two kids, bringing a dog in with behavior issues. When you have two little kids, and you have a drug using husband who doesn't have his act together, maybe wasn't the wisest choice. And like the two dogs in my childhood, Georgia, my childhood and Brutus when my kids were little, they were not bad dogs. They were the wrong dog at the wrong time in the wrong house. And that was how Noah's story started. But it's not how it ended. Okay, and that's important. It's not how it started. Jennifer is a major dog lover, in I mean, she's had tons of dogs and she always goes for the dogs with a bad rap. Yeah, she goes with Rottweilers and pities and she's a wonderful dog trainer. I mean, she got her she has her act together. Well, her life fell apart. Her husband left. She ended up not being able to afford to pay the rent and she got evicted. They put a padlock on and there she is in a New England winter with two young kids and a dog. And it's hard to get a home when you've been evicted when you don't necessarily have first and last but there's a lot of things that go into homelessness and that's a nother whole podcasts and different stories. But her mother had an apartment and she was not allowed to have another dog because she had dog and No, it wasn't be around other animals. No nothing. So her mother took the children, but couldn't take Noah and Jen, because of her lease the size of it many, many different things. If wonderful, she, she took the kids, so Jennifer lived in her car for 18 months. Because everywhere she tried to find, they said no dogs allowed or no dogs over 30 pounds or no pets. And so during that time, Jen needed a break. And she's trying to train this dog and whatever. And so a friend of her friend knew someone who was without a dog at the time. And Eva loved dogs and had never met. Okay, this is important to know, had never met Jen had never oh my gosh, that's amazing. It was a referral. And she had had other large dogs. So she took this dog, and realized pretty quickly this dog as a handful, is I don't know if I'm up to this. But she loved know so much. And eventually Jen met someone. They fell in love. They bought a house. And as she puts in the story. Now no one can ever tell me. I can't have no, no landlord, no insurance, no one can ever tell me. And so Jen got reunited with her dog. Now during that time, when Eva had him, Jen did get to go visit. So she wasn't ever really out. So a total stranger took a dog. Wow. And this dog now can sleep with a bunny rabbit, this dog. This dog is great with kids. And Jen. I mean, God love her. She just hung in there where most people would not her life was late, so much more difficult because of NOAA, and so much more enriched because of NOAA. And not everybody is up to that task. But you know, the bully breeds just get a really bad rap. 

Lisa 
27:06
 I got lucky with blue. He was owned by someone else for six months, then I started taking care of him then they time he was a year he was mine. But he's just always going great with kids great with dogs great with everybody.

Carmen 
27:18
Nobody wasn't abused. Exactly. He didn't live in a cage his whole life and break his teeth off and trying to you know, that's the difference. That's the difference, right? And it's the same thing with people. You say, How come this person had been a murderer? Or what? How could you be shooting up? You know, 30 people, when you go backwards and you see the abuse and you see the deprivation and then, you know, broken dogs are like broken people.

Lisa 
27:44
I'm so glad you said that

Carmen 
27:45
they can be rehabilitated. You know, one of the stories I really loved Well, one of the stories that was hard for me was writing about our second dog. So we had a second dog and her name was Mele. And because Gary loves dogs, but coconut was my dog. And it was so well that I said, Hey, let's get another dog words. I never thought I'd hear myself say we went into daycare, we went to the shelter companies to go to daycare there and I said well, who's this favorite friend? And they said, Oh, Bambi. And so she was a terrier had a little masks like Bambi. Oh, I love that band. Yeah, looks like bandit but you know, Zara look like but her name was Bambi and oh, they were the same age the same size they play they loved it. It was it was oh, this great blended family. No, not great. Because that three days, three weeks, three months came into play. And when they become comfortable, true colors show anybody can be on your best behavior. Right? I never knew coconut could bark till about three months. But he didn't bark because it wasn't his home. And finally he realized no one will ever kick me out. I can do this. Which I thought was really interesting.

Lisa 
29:00
That is interesting.

Carmen 
29:03
Her name became Mele. Little by little she started being such a bully to coconut. She pushed them off the bed. She knocked them off the couch. She she got resource guarding with me. Didn't want him to be around me. couldn't walk them together had a really vicious growl. I got afraid to walk her in the neighborhood because we have kids. And then one day we had done a fundraiser at a local restaurant pause in the patio and after the fundraiser we came back with the dogs to have a nice dinner. And the server was really nice that dogs are acting like really sweet little dogs and she walked up and all of a sudden Mellie just gave a bark and growl It was terrifying. It was so scary. The couple who had just had their their dinner delivered across the way got up and left the restaurant. There were that terrified of the stop. And I just do didn't wear had been easy to begin with, you know, maybe about a month prior. But I looked down. And I saw that woman's boots, black enclosed shoes that surfers have to wear. And I knew that I knew that I knew this dog has been kicked by boots. Yeah, it never had, she had never had this kind of response. And I just went well, so I called Jim and I said, this is what's happening. And he called the behaviors they work with. And she had she didn't have time to see her then it was a Sunday, and we cried, and we prayed, and it was so hard. And we took her back on Monday. And you said this is just not the dog for you. But they had a program. So the next transport that came in, I think Mellie stayed there about two weeks. Another van came in, and many went back to Kentucky and went to live with a prison where she was really built hated. So not a bad dog. Just not ready for primetime. And I love like you I love anthologies. You know, I love being able to tell stories that are not my stories. I've never had a beloved dog die. I've never had a dog with three legs. I've never had a dog with epilepsy. I've never had a dog raised in a prison, all those stories that really define the richness of adoption. And there's no one adoption story. There's no one foster story. I love being able to tell the stories so that people know, your story is uniquely yours, but it's universal in nature. And I think that's why I love this book that I said I'd never write. Because these stories need to be told by my favorite review of this book was a verbal review. It was a gentleman in our town who didn't really know me very well. And he set up I'm, I'm not a dog person. I'm like, okay. The cat person, I don't eat you. I'm not a bad person. And he said, but I wanted to support a local author. So I bought your book. And I thought that was so sweet may think Doom, because but yeah, you know what, I read this, it doesn't even suck. And he said, but he said, but this isn't even a dog book. I go, it's not. And because No, it's a book about you. With some dogs. I said you're not wrong. So when people say tell me about this book, I go it's it's almost a mini memoir. Yeah. With Chicken Soup for the dog lovers soul push together? Yes. What I wanted to do with the book is to show that just like dogs are universal. So are people. And we all have our stories. And we can learn from each story. So every story I tell about my past is who made me who I am today, who made me able to take this exact dog if this is the time to move to this exact location and somehow become a doggy advocate and somehow come to this place where in the beginning of the book I talked about Never say never. I'm never going to kiss a boy. I would never forgive him for what he did. I would never get married again. Or again. I will never live in the Midwest. I will never have a dog and I would never write another book. And now we all know those are untrue. And I tell you about the never saved nevers and now I'm at the point where I live in the Midwest. I'm married again. I have a dog I've written bows about 1000s of dogs. I write books about dogs. And I've somehow come to the place with my never becoming forever and I think I want people to know that the never that you're living in saying I'll never do this. It could be your forever if you leave that door open it when people say to me Why Why did you move to Wisconsin? I get this every day. And I can break them
go Yeah, it wouldn't have been it would have it took brain damage. It took a car wreck. It took almost dying to get me away from Hawaii. And but look at the dogs. Yeah 65 dogs. And it's such a joy now to to know that every book I sell. I get to give away a portion of that so that we can rescue more dogs, which that wasn't going to happen to me Why No. Dogs have lice people like me have hope, because of brain damage, and but you know, let your listeners know I'm getting better. I no longer have a level 10 unless I do something really stupid. And I'm usually at a four or five and I can function and it all was just where we are. When we had Brutus who was golden doodle, which is another whole show, but we had Brutus,

Lisa 
35:29
I love that name, by the way.

Carmen 
35:32
My kids nailed them. And no, no, no, that was such a funny day. But my kids when I had remarried for the second time, and they always wanted to dog my first husband said no dogs. So second one loves dogs. And I thought, well, this is a great way to get them all connected. And it did do that. The problem was my husband got diagnosed with a terminal brain disease into the marriage. And so we ended up moving to Florida, thinking it would be more affordable. It was not and he eventually passed away. I was his caregiver for oh, I don't know, seven years. And it was it was a horrible time. But you know, life happens and we move on and, and on Wednesday, I have a caregiver class to give us so there we go. It kind of all comes together. But it was Brutus was one of those mommies Shawn's dog had puppies? Can we have one? Again? No research, no thought process? No fence. No. Bad, bad situation. But it's, I learned a lot. I learned. I have funny stories in the book about Oh, yeah. But dogs are connected. My nephew lived with us for a while. And he's Carmen, can I take Bruce for a walk? And I'd say yeah. And he kept checking for way a lot of walks. And I said what's going on? He goes, he's a chick magnet. But they are they are people magnets. And you know, they they know good people. They know that people stay away from and I will tell you why we bought a house that 1975 And so we've been doing a lot of work on this house. And speaking of the gardening thing, I really didn't buy a house. We bought a yard full of weeds with a house thrown in. So Oh, man. It's just been something doing this but but a dog in a neighborhood that is less than pristine, that had a drug house across the street I didn't know about it was transient and it was not gentrifying. And it's on that way. I've never felt unsafe in that neighborhood. And people would say, don't you feel unsafe, and I go, why? This is a great place to live. I could walk everywhere. And I said, but I got a dog and my dog everybody loves my dog. Nobody would hurt me. Nobody's gonna break in. Nobody's gonna take anything because that's where coconut lives. That's also he's not a vicious guard dog. It's not like you got to put up a sign. It's there's a relationship between my dog and these people in the neighborhood. And nobody wants to hurt me or my dog. Because he's a dog. He got his name when my when my grandson who at the time was fine with it came and sell the house. So once we got in reverse greed. Well, you got six. I got I do it fits in because you can get a dog. I think my son told his son you can't get a dog because whatever fence you give. Well, because you got a fence doesn't matter. You get a dog.
 And you can even coconut. I got coconut.

Carmen 
38:56
Why was the his mommy and daddy from Hawaii? What are you going to name them? Pineapple? So he got this word. But honestly, had I known 2020 was coming. That dog's name would have been Muy Thai. Yeah.

Lisa 
39:13
You should do stand up Carmen. You're so funny.

Carmen 
39:19
That a bit? Yeah. I do a lot of I do a lot of speaking. Oh, good. Regardless of the topic I'm talking about, I will always bring into humor and music. One of the things about this book that kind of, I'm not gonna say it throw people off. But there was no surprise is I start every chapter with a song. It's not a song about dogs. It's a song that has some relationship in my life. And whatever I'm trying to teach in that chapter. That song will work. And so people didn't. I don't think people expected this book when they opened it up. I think it was just, they thought it was gonna be. And here's a story about a dog and never spoke about it up. And oh, sure, but now, which those are great books too, because I don't know dogs. But this is a very different, I like to think a little bit deeper, which is fun. Now the next book, so I tell your readers, I'm looking for stories. Now I'm reading a book, The working title is I still choose you. And it's all about rescue dogs and their senior humans. Now we're gonna call senior 55 and older, even though I think that's insulting, because we're gonna go over the over 55 housing,

Lisa
40:41
I can be in it because I'm 55.

Carmen 
40:44
Okay, and what your story is, and you're gonna do more than one story. So this book, we all know, there's a different reason for choosing a dog in your 20s than there are in your 50s and 60s, there are different kinds of dogs you should get. There are different needs. So this book is all people who were in 55 and up who had or have a rescue dog, but it'll be the same kind of format as the first one. Except the instead of doing music, every story begins with a movie. Oh, I love that. And in the movie, we will always focus on the one of the characters, maybe the major or minor, at some point in their in the movie, they are over 55. Maybe they found love. Maybe they sought forgiveness. Maybe they went on a road trip with the kids. Maybe they found a new career. And so it's all based on movies. And I've been watching lots of movies. And I've also found a lot of movies that can't use because Buddha they use a lot of language in those movies. So we're, we're going to do all the PG 13. I mean, I'm just, you know, I'm filtering on that way. Oh, that's all I could use, and I couldn't use. So yeah, by website, which is I've got two websites, carbon layer.com, which is my name. But I also have a little publishing company, I started for this woman who was never writing again. And it's called Wagga Wagga way publishing.com. And on there, there's a link that says submit your story and all the guidelines and the dates and the email and it's all on there. So I can't tell you the stories that other people can tell. And those are some of my absolute favorite stories are the ones that didn't happen to me at all. But those are the ones like Jennifer's story, that that impact us. Like the story of the three legged dog. He was shot and had to have his leg amputated. And he's a great guy. I mean, I didn't have all those experiences. But I think we need to hear those. We need those stories captured.

Lisa 
43:04
Yeah, I totally agree. I mean, you have so many great stories. I love this sentence. There's a woman who would life's greatest soulmate Andrea Jane boli. She's talking about Moses, her senior dog is a doberman. And, quote, he wakes me up every morning with kisses and unfortunate farts laughing all day. Like, that's like blue in a nutshell. You know?

Carmen 
43:27
They're just, you know, there's such unique personalities, and they're there for us, no matter what goes on. They sense when they need a little extra love. They are funny. One thing I want your listeners to know. And you wouldn't even know this. I don't know. I started a Facebook page, specifically to be able to share, not stories that like what to do in the book, but I curate articles on training on nutrition on all those things. I did not know. And I do tell stories. I do memes. And so it's Facebook rescue more dogs. And, and we're growing. You know, we started with zero and we're up to 266 followers now. So, but I just epithet people, somebody just joined us from Maine, and we've got her way. And I remember when I did the new possibilities site we grew from 3000 to 7000 doing these kinds of things. And 17,000 I'm sorry, 17,001 day I got a message from a woman asking me about her dog's poop. And I said, Well, I'm not a vet. But you really should see a vet but why don't you do chicken boiled right? You know, you know that little thing. Look, the stomach come down and then then add in food. And so she messaged me and she said, Oh, that was perfect. It's perfect. Now I said Oh, great. I said why? Me, actually says we don't have any. That's where I live. Oh, my goodness, that's just no one. I said, Well, looking at your IP address, I think you're from the Philippines. And she was I am I said, Well, why? Why? Why do you follow me? Really? Why do you follow me? Here, the Philippines, which is up in a mountainous area that literally has no fats. And ironically, my ex husband got married to a girl from the Philippines that lives there now, and not that far. And I said, But why do you follow? She said, Because you have the best content on Facebook.

Lisa 
45:33
Oh, my gosh, that's fantastic, Carmen. So I

Carmen
45:37
just like to read what you write. And I like, you know, that one, I did all the dogs and the adoptions. And so when I get this new partner, I'll do more of that. But I was such a novice. And one thing that I hate, what I love is Facebook, or YouTube, and you can do a lot of research. One thing I hate is Facebook and YouTube, because you have to do your own research. And so much of it is tied to buy my product, buy my product. And I don't ever put stories on that are about a product per se. So if I do something about how often you know to wash your dog I did last week was National Take a shower with a friend day. So literally it was so I turned that into bliss, wash the dog, how do you shoot them poo? And how often do you do it? But nowhere in that article was there anything about a brand to buy, because it isn't my job to tell you what you should and shouldn't but very rarely, it's only something if I found helpful, like I bought a con. That's how I used it, but I just don't invest my place. But it is to be able to, I have a whole link on webway Publishing, I'll have the link to that Facebook page. But I also have training links, behavioral links, food, just all the different things that I did not know that I wish I had known. So I'm trying to create a doggy haven for owners like me and others like you who know a lot. But there's always something to learn. Of course,

Lisa 
47:18
I think that sounds great. Well, you know, you could definitely put my podcast up because it's free

Carmen
47:24
I will put your podcast up. 

Lisa 
47:27
Especially when you're on to promote your show.

Carmen
47:30
Now, I'm going to be putting it on my medium page, but I'm going to put it on as a permanent link for on my resources, because that's one area I've been missing is the podcast and other shows, because of things that I have seen. Oh, just you know, they're just very commercial. And now back word from our sponsor this crappy food, but a cereal that you got to buy because it pays the bills. No, not doing it. Not.

Lisa
47:59
Now, it's hard to go from laughing to this topic. But let's talk about loss because that's that's just God. I mean, it's just so devastating. I love what you wrote in the book you wrote, I believe what Eric Zhang says is true, quote, dogs come into our lives to teach us about love. They depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart. If you have loved many dogs, your heart is very big. That is beautiful.

Carmen 
48:28
And that is the number one people saying people say to me is I really want to read your book, will it make me cry? I get that a lot. And I go, you will, you will cry, you won't laugh so hard you cry, right? And you will have you will cry about the dogs that are gone. Because I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you I don't have a chapter about dogs, we're gone. But the stories that made me cry, were not so much the stories of loss. Because we all know that if we get a dog, unless we're getting a dog, and we're 90, there's an excellent chance the dog will leave us first. And so we have to walk in here with that knowledge that I'm going to say goodbye. And we treat our dogs as children. And it's not natural for our two legged children to leave first. It's not natural. That's not the order of things. It does happen. My brother died when he was 36. And it was he had a rare liver disease. And it was so hard for my mother and my father to deal with that. So but because we treat our dogs as children and children don't leave first, that's really hard, but it's expected. And we often look at another dog and another dog and another dog. But the stories that made me cry ain't worth those and people are funny. They'll they'll tell with your favorite stories now, and they never match. And so one of my favorite stories, the one that made me cry out of almost gratefulness was the story about Buddy the Beagle. The lady who narrates the story was going to visit her college friend after a long break. And she was so excited to spend the whole summer with her friend. And a dog. Her friend had a dog. And so she was so excited. And she gets there. And there's this Beagle chain under a porch. And she's the nurse Dan, she's actually at the wrong house. So she comes in, she says to her friend, why is buddy under the house? It's just so my dad said, dogs are always going to step outside that toughen them up. And it's just said, Well, how about we bring buddy inside, and such, but he came in and she started working with buddy that turned out but he had a lot of indoor matters. He wasn't, he had obviously been owned by someone. And so the girl is working with his dog. And she said, You know, I think you'd make a great therapy dog. And she's really sick. Yeah, so they're starting to work with him. But there's a test you have to take to become an official therapy dog. And there's a lot of points to this test. And there wasn't a lot of time, but she thought, you know, I'll pay the fee. And he passes, he passes. He doesn't he doesn't. So as they go on the day of the room is filled with very well behaved dogs that obviously have been in training as therapy dogs. And then there's Buddy the Beagle, who had been changed the report who no one knew his past. And the likelihood of this dog getting the first pass wasn't going to happen. But because we know it happened, he got it. And we passed the first time out. But when he walked outside, it was almost as if he knew he was special anyhow. And he got a little red vest that said, well work for kisses. And whenever they would take them out to the school or the hospital to the therapy dog. When they open the closet, he danced around, he noticed wearing his vest who's gonna be special. But the part that made me cry was at the very end. When the friend says to the woman, buddies owner, she said, Thank you for letting me stay for the summer. I had such a good time. And her friend said, Thank you for teaching me how to love my dog. just killed me. Thank you for teaching me how to love my dog. I had more tears over that. Yeah, because just think of everything that took the whole universe. For who knows where this dog came from, to being under a porch. And if that woman hadn't come to just that time in the universe, and been a dog lover, and had the insight to know, this is a special dog? How many people have benefited from buddy's therapy? You know, kids at school who are autistic to the woman dying in a nursing home to tu tu tu tu tu. But thank you for teaching me to love my dog. I just threat you know, the randomness doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. Each dog is there for purpose. But it is hard to say goodbye to a beloved friend. My brother in law in the book, there's a story about a dog, a Pepsi brother in law and he said you'll never get another dog. As long as he lives. He just cannot go through the heartbreak. And he was happy when we came to Michigan and he loves coconut. He'd met him a couple times. And one day we were taking a walk and on his property and coconut all of a sudden ran as fast as he could about tore my arm off. He had no idea where he was going. And he ran and ran. And I said okay, I'll go with him. And it gets to a big tree. And he laid down with his paws crossed in front of that tree and I thought what in the world and I looked down and there was a marker marking Pepsi's gravesite. My dog smelled Pepsi, because bones don't deteriorate. And that's why dogs are great search and rescue dogs. And he was playing an honor to this dog. I couldn't believe that and I had no way of knowing there was a dog on the property and never talked about that. Isn't that cool?

Lisa 
54:50
That is yeah, I met you when I read that. I was like, Oh my gosh,

Carmen 
54:52
I know. So there's a story of the story of these little slices of life that are not that are huge. That will leave an impact with you. For a very they leave an impact on me for the rest of my life. Yeah, no, it's

Lisa 
55:09
absolutely beautiful. Well, Carmen, you are so fabulous. And so fun. Tell us all the ways to find you again, and I'll put it in the show notes as well.

Carmen
55:19
Yes, well, the easiest way to find the book is amazon.com. Because they're the largest bookseller in the world. And it's called I chose you, imperfectly perfect rescue dogs under humans. And it's really easy to find just put my name and carbon layer a little pop up. But I do have a website. And that's spelled ca R m e nleal.com. That serves a different purpose. But there's a link on there to wag away publishing.com. And did you like the song did you do the QR code?

Lisa 
55:54
I did, yes.

Carmen
55:57
I've already chosen I'm pretty sure. In this book, I have coda, which is the in notes of the book. It's going to be Mr. Holland's Opus,

Lisa 
56:07
Oh, nice.

Carmen
56:11
And that is one of my absolute favorite movies, everything you thought you would never want to do. You do and you become enriched and a better person. And now there's nothing else you want to do. And I never wanted a dog. I never wanted to write another book. I never wanted those. I, if I could have my dream job. If I could do what I want to do. For the next 20 years, if I live that long, which I could do, I would write more doggy books. And I would travel around the world, speaking at conferences, whether they are dog conferences, whether they are healing conferences, whether they're joy, just humor. So I could take the message of the value of dogs, the value of rescue dogs, that would be my perfect life is speaking and doing these kinds of shows and writing and giving everything I have to this message. And that is something if you would have known me, you would have never believed I would do that. And that's how it's that's the Mr. Mr. Holloman me, because he never wanted to be a teacher. And when it ended, he said, There's nothing else I would ever do in my whole life. Except what I never wanted

Lisa 
57:35
to do. Yeah, that's incredible. That dog,

Carmen
57:39
you know, those dogs never wanted to be you. They never wanted to be with you. Because with a rescue dog, we know they had a different life. You know, before they were yours, there's that little story on there as a meme goes around the internet. And it's about two dogs that were born in the same litter. And two different people adopted them. And they decided they were close enough. It was like a big in Poland. It was they were close enough that they could come together once a month. And whenever they got their dogs together, the dogs would stand on their hind legs and hug. Oh my gosh. And when I look at, yeah, so what I wrote that just just actually write their names, right to dogs, it'll, you'll see the picture. And so I don't show it for copyright, but I talk about it. And then I say before they were yours, they have a mother, they probably had siblings, and they maybe had people who've loved them. Before they were yours, but and so when when your dog doesn't behave the way you thought when when things go wrong when they seem one way or another it's because before they were yours. And every single dog in our lives if they were a rescue dog, there is a before they were yours. At the very end of the book i i write. I know my dog is a runner, because I had a lot of stories about my dog running, and some dogs just are. And I think my dog I know my dog was own, I could tell from his behavior. I think he probably ran away and they didn't microchip. And there was a way to get a hold of them. And he ended up in Wisconsin. And I said, Well, I just I can see in my mind. People putting up last dog posters on the telephone poles, people doing social media where it's been two hours or about people being heartbroken, their dog is gone. I see that. And I wish I could tell these people. Your dog wasn't running away from you. Your dog was writing to me. He knew somewhere there was this broken woman who needed help, because without him she would kill herself and I hope You got another dog, and you got a fence. Okay? But your dog,

Lisa
1:00:10
my eyes from crying and laughing. Oh my god, you're so awesome.

Carmen
1:00:14
You're the dog was running towards me. And remember that you're going into a shelter when you're going into foster where you're going to read. However in the back of the book I do talk about the differences and how to find how to you know, and I think that's really important because everything I didn't know, right just remember before they were yours before you look at them they had a life they had a life and your job is to give them such a great life. They almost forget their old people their old situation. I say almost because dogs don't forget. But make make the bad times and even the good times make makes your life so distant because you're so much better. It's like that boyfriend you could never live without. And then it ended. And now what you have is so much better than the person you thought you'd never get over. And that's what we want for our dogs. That's what we want from rescue dogs.

Lisa 
1:01:13
I'd love to have you back to do like a little bonus episode on top six reasons to adopt a rescue dog so people have to come back for that but you will get it in the book as well. I choose you imperfectly perfect rescue dogs and their humans Carmen Lael, you are an absolute delight. You're always welcome

Carmen
1:01:29
here. Oh, I'm so happy. You're so good at what you do. You are so good at. You're really good at understanding pauses and letting you talk and then bringing it back around and you're really good

Lisa 
1:01:41
at that. Oh, thank you. Well, you're amazing. Everybody keeps coming back to dog eared Lisa Davis rate review, subscribe tell all your dog loving friends and family